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this entry is abotu PAIN!!!
mostly kidding. just ranting
yesterday was a mess. a secret-not-so-secret about little ol bitchinsandy is that i have an awful case of chronic insomnia. i can't go to bed earlier than 3 AM and if i do it is a STRUGGLE. a WRESTLE WITH GOD. so my mom tries undermining this and say she goes through worse insomnia. fair, shes going through menopause, i wont be insensitive to her, but I HAVE INSOMNIA I CAN'T JUST GO TO BED BECAUSE YOURS IS WORSE !!
my struggles with sleep stop me from being super productive. and believe me, it doesn't make me too happy to always need to be sleeping myself. i'd rather hit the sack than stay up. but my mom expects me to be able to go to sleep right away because i guess that's just how having insomnia is cured. (yes that is sarcasm)
so the day goes by, i come out of my room to ask if anyone needs help. no one does. i go back in. some time passes. i go back out. no one needs help, my dad already did some chores. i feel bad, i retreat, my mom sends me a WHOLE paragraph and tries to say im purposefully selfish and lazy, then contradicts herself by saying the opposite, then when i try to resolve the conflict she just uses it as an opportunity to berate me. so i cry, and she asks why im crying?? a dumb talk with my mom and dad later which lasts about....looking at my watch...an hour, we finally part ways and go back to our business and i'm sitting here with eyes that STILL sting as i write this. good lord my parents.
and of course, to top it all off, i've had this problem for 1-2 years where my jaw clicks and pops anytime i open it too wide or eat something. well today, it finally locked in place. it was the most painful shit ive had since i had a clogged salivary duct (more on that in 5..not really i'll tell it some other time perhaps) and all i could do was hope and pray it would relocate in the morning. and thank. god. it did. i was prepared to be stuck like that because i'm too lazy to go to the doctors LOL.
ciao for now
mostly kidding. just ranting
yesterday was a mess. a secret-not-so-secret about little ol bitchinsandy is that i have an awful case of chronic insomnia. i can't go to bed earlier than 3 AM and if i do it is a STRUGGLE. a WRESTLE WITH GOD. so my mom tries undermining this and say she goes through worse insomnia. fair, shes going through menopause, i wont be insensitive to her, but I HAVE INSOMNIA I CAN'T JUST GO TO BED BECAUSE YOURS IS WORSE !!
my struggles with sleep stop me from being super productive. and believe me, it doesn't make me too happy to always need to be sleeping myself. i'd rather hit the sack than stay up. but my mom expects me to be able to go to sleep right away because i guess that's just how having insomnia is cured. (yes that is sarcasm)
so the day goes by, i come out of my room to ask if anyone needs help. no one does. i go back in. some time passes. i go back out. no one needs help, my dad already did some chores. i feel bad, i retreat, my mom sends me a WHOLE paragraph and tries to say im purposefully selfish and lazy, then contradicts herself by saying the opposite, then when i try to resolve the conflict she just uses it as an opportunity to berate me. so i cry, and she asks why im crying?? a dumb talk with my mom and dad later which lasts about....looking at my watch...an hour, we finally part ways and go back to our business and i'm sitting here with eyes that STILL sting as i write this. good lord my parents.
and of course, to top it all off, i've had this problem for 1-2 years where my jaw clicks and pops anytime i open it too wide or eat something. well today, it finally locked in place. it was the most painful shit ive had since i had a clogged salivary duct (more on that in 5..not really i'll tell it some other time perhaps) and all i could do was hope and pray it would relocate in the morning. and thank. god. it did. i was prepared to be stuck like that because i'm too lazy to go to the doctors LOL.
ciao for now
